Last week and for the next three weeks I will have the privilege of witnessing couples exchanging their marriage vows. In a time when there is so much controversy about the nature of this commitment, it is truly a joy to be in the presence of those who understand the church's teaching...
Last week and for the next three weeks I will have the privilege of witnessing couples exchanging their marriage vows. In a time when there is so much controversy about the nature of this commitment, it is truly a joy to be in the presence of those who understand the church's teaching concerning this most intimate reality. In Vatican II's final declaration: The Church in the Modern World, we hear: "The …partnership of life and the love which constitutes the married state has been established by the creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws: it is rooted in the contract of its partners, that is, in their irrevocable personal consent. It is an institution confirmed by the divine law and receiving its stability, even in the eyes of society, from the human act by which the partners mutually surrender themselves to each other; for the good of the partners of the children, and of society this sacred bond no longer depends on human decision alone. For God himself is the author of marriage and has endowed it with various benefits and various ends in view: all of these have a very important bearing on the continuation of the human race, on the personal development and eternal destiny of every member of the family, on the dignity, stability, peace and prosperity of the family and of the whole human race. By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to procreation and education of the offspring and it is to them that it finds it crowning glory…The intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable unity between them. Christ our Lord has abundantly blessed this love, which is rich in its various features, coming as it does from the spring of divine love and modeled on Christ's own union with the Church…Spouses, therefore, are fortified and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and dignity of their state by a special sacrament, fulfilling their conjugal and family role by virtue of this sacrament, spouses are penetrated with the spirit of Christ and their whole life is suffused by faith, hope, and charity; thus they increasingly further their own perfection and their mutual sanctification, and together they tender glory to God." (48) While this language is totally consistent with centuries of the Church 's teaching, it is certainly at odds with many voices heard recently but which were described in an earlier paragraph of the conciliar document: The pace of change is so far-reaching and rapid nowadays that no one can allow oneself to close his eyes to the course of events or indifferently ignore them and wallow in the luxury of a merely individualistic morality…There is a kind of person who boasts of grand and noble sentiments and lives in practice as if he could not care less about the needs of society. There are many in various countries who make light of social laws and directives and are not ashamed to…neglect the norms of social conduct…Let everyone consider it his sacred duty to count social obligations among man's chief duties today and observe them as such. For the more closely the world comes together, the more widely do man's obligations transcend particular groups and gradually extend to the whole world. This will be realized only if individuals and groups practice moral and social values and foster them in social living." (30)Pope Paul VI reflecting on these statements called upon the church to recognize that as Christ was and is and always will be in union with her so each sacramental marriage must exhibit permanency, exclusivity, morality, and humanity. The permanent nature of the relationship between a husband and wife is not to be seen as a negative as some worldly people would see it but as a point of stability in a complex and sometimes overwhelming vortex of activity. No matter what occurs positively or negatively the couple embraces it as a unit. On one's wedding day the future is unknown but the vows exchanged declare to all the unconditional and perpetual intention to face uncertainty with confidence in what "God has placed together."
The exclusive nature of marriage refers not only to the singular dedication of oneself in a physical, psychological, and spiritual union but also the acknowledgement that its prioritization is absolute. In-laws' needs are respected but responded to only after one's spouses requirements. Children are loved but must not be permitted to divide parents. Employment is essential for a family's welfare but it cannot and must not impact its existence and growth. With one's spouse seeking quiet time, an open heart, and deep affection, the laptop should be put in the safe mode and the cell phone turned off.
Scripture tells us that "the two become one" therefore when married people are confronted with serious issues morality insists that their resolution comes only after mutual reflection, discussion, and prayer. Changes in lifestyle, size of family, work history must be preceded by full exploration by the couple.
The human aspect of this sacramental experience must be displayed by each partner accepting each other in toto. Romantic gestures on random occasions, sharing in household tasks, and most of all, acts of forgiveness given quickly and generously assist in building upon the grace God has bestowed, on intimacy of undying love.
May God bless all those who marry this month and all married couples who energize our Church.
Vivat Jesus
Fr. Brian